Gay rambo
From one of the brilliantly twisted minds that brought you Neil’s Puppet Dreams comes the retelling of Rambo you never knew you needed, finalize with three musical numbers and more homoerotic subtext than a Whitesnake melody video: Michael Serrato’s Rambo…But Gay. Okay, maybe subtext is a generous word, but as Serrato explains in the video, he wanted to take something that society has branded to be hypermasculine and hyper-heterosexual and give it a gay retelling. The result is a campy, over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek take on Rambo’s bloody revenge sage, but with way better choreography and wardrobe. Honestly, if all police departments had harmonies as rock firm as Jerkwater P.D.’s, the world would be a safer place.
What do you think of Rambo…But Gay? What movie would you like to see get the …But Gay treatment next? Let us realize in the comments below!
The Untimely Exits of the Rambo Twins
I know “the Rambo Twins” sounds like a high-concept movie where two clones of Sylvester Stallone go on a rampage after returning from Vietnam. Their first names (Dirk and Dack) remind me of the porn celestial body Marky Mark plays in Boogie Nights. But the brothers in question predate those cinematic phenomena. In fact, had they lived to a ripe elderly age they would have been turning 80 years elderly today (they were both born on this day in 1941). Their authentic names were Orman Ray (“Dirk”) and Norman Jay (“Dack”).
The brothers were 21 years old when they were discovered by Loretta Youngat an L.A. church and hired to be on The New Loretta New Show. They became recurring characters, appearing in a couple of dozen episodes. Sadly, Dirk acquired only two additional credits, guest starring on episodes of The Virginian and Dragnet ’67, before being killed in a head-on automobile collision by fellow actor Kathleen Case, whose 40 screen credits include Running Wild (1955) with Mamie Van Doren, and The Eddie Cantor Story. Is L.A. a weird town? It’s a weird town. Dirk was 25 years old when
RAMBO, BUT GAY: Coming Out to a Theater Adjacent You!
When I first discovered that writer-director Michael Serrato (Neil’s Puppet Dreams, The Big Gay Sketch Show) took Rambo, a film known for its hypermasculine trademark and spun it into a gay (musical) retelling, I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I generally set the expectation phasers to “none” when confronted with something fresh, but, let me explain you, gentle reader, that RAMBO, BUT GAY has changed my eye. As the opening quote from Quentin Tarantino says, “Gay subtext always makes every movie better, ” and RAMBO, BUT GAY does not disappoint.
Here’s a swift synopsis: A “suntanned and lubed up” Rambo (Mario Diaz) minces into the sleepy town of Jerkwater looking to reconnect with his secret “Don’t Request, Don’t Tell” bunk buddy, Jimmy, and instead runs into the limp-wristed, closeted Sheriff Teasle (Serrato). Threatened by Rambo’s smoldering sexuality, Sheriff Teasle hauls him into the local police station, where he receives a literal dressing down by some waifish deputies thirsty for justice. Escaping from the mist of an impromptu shower number and into the savage, Rambo throws together a nature-inspired battle look, dons his s
A short story about a gay bull.
You wouldn’t contain thought it to look at him, but Keith Gunn’s bull was gay. But then who are we to impose our rigid notions of masculinity on a bull?
Keith Gunn had named this bull Rambo, which only reinforced the existing stereotype, especially in the eyes of the holidaymakers in the Airbnb down by the burn. The Nortons always came in August for two weeks. Rambo used to look forward to their arrival, heralded each year by the first faint sugar-frosting of heather on the upper slopes of the glen. He would observe out for the five of them striding over the fields in their windproof jackets and wellington boots, the little one, Matty, trotting double-time to retain up. And they would be looking for him. Oh, there were plenty of bonny females in the herd – Joanie, with her dazzling forelocks, and Princess, of course, and Amber of the gleaming gingernut conceal. But all the Norton boys wanted was to ‘see if they could see Rambo’. It made Rambo feel like a celebrity. He would position himself so that he was facing up the glen, to donate them his best side. He couldn’t deny it; he was trying to impress them.